All Doubts Disappearing
In Leo Galland’s 2018 memoir Already Here we read of the challenging life of his brain damaged and developmentally challenged son, Christopher, and his subsequent shocking death from drowning while out hiking in his teen years. A doctor by training, with all the hidebound scientific materialism that education entails, he tells of his son’s spontaneous visitations after passing, where he revealed himself as something of an older soul who chose, quite specifically, a life with many limitations, to learn and teach by example, even if the example was characterized by the ornery, impatient and selfishly demanding, all brought on by harshly limited physical capacities.
After a few of these visitations, sometimes mental, sometimes visionary, Galland felt all his denial and ignorance of the eternal life just melt away. At some point it was just gone, and gone for good. He knew not how yet felt it real. He also felt he was being taught to live in the eternal now rather than the sequential time of his life and career. Of course, many of us face that challenge every day: we strive to live in the moment but get caught up with tasks, pastimes and duties, none of which can be ignored.
But the melting away of his ignorance and doubts surrounding the transition he thought ended it all, is what struck me, perhaps because I’d been through that journey decades before, and had mysteriously reached that complete lack of doubt before I felt compelled to take notes on my lucid dreams and obe’s, the ones that wound up forming the basis of Eternal Life And How To Enjoy It, circa 1998/99. I just knew. Doubt had somehow drained away through the years, beginning with my father’s transition thirty years before, a transition that had left me with his plainly spoken lucid statement: ‘try to imagine I’ve gone on a long holiday’. Later occasional bouts of nightime lucidity, experiences with convincing evidence, had gradually worn down my resistance, but so subtly that when it finally disappeared I barely noticed.
Long before the book was completed, through that usual coincidence/synchronicity matrix, I was suddenly giving talks to local groups on matters metaphysical and astral. I amazed myself by being somehow able to answer any query from the audience on subjects like the afterlife, reincarnation and the Higher Self. Nothing seemed beyond my ken.
I was only about one third way through the book and yet this talking part of me seemed to know so much more that the words on those pages. Was I channeling a wiser part of “me’, perhaps this Higher Self I was gingerly approaching in the notes from my explorations? I began to think so, basically because I could not come up with any other explanation. Some of this journey is detailed in the early part of my recently reissued ebook More Adventures In Eternity, but suffice to say, the experience turned me inside out and upside down. Some friends thought I was going high, others felt I was going deep. I tried not to take myself too seriously and keep those chuckles up front. Self-deflating humility seemed like the smart choice.
How did it all come about? The ‘me’ that was accumulating the data of obe experience seemed a student learner but the guy talking in public felt completed, authentic and whole, just kind of waiting to come on stage while the little ‘me’, humbly taking notes from the wings, continued to play the part of the bumbling student. Eventually I could see this dual personality situation was another example of what some were calling existential programming, an amusing way to compete with yourself.
In the intervening decades the conglomeration of ‘me’s that is the ‘I’ writing this have learned to coalesce and become one for the sake of the ‘project’, and a harmony of purpose is quite apparent. Yes, I am a retired guy with a loving wife and beautiful home and garden with all the usual bills, repairs, worries and frailties, but I am also a spirit without form or dimension, acting out an human incarnation cycle to grow my selves as one bloom in the garden of our beloved Gaia.
I am a nothing that actually knows everything, as are all of you. Remove those little bricks of doubt and fear from your cart, one by one at your own pace, and you’ll see the load lightening and the cart become a helium balloon floating away to who knows where.