Some insights into one’s personal reality can be as emotional, psychological or mental as much as the psychic and spiritual ones we speak of here.  Reading Nate Klemp’s,‘Open: Living With An Expansive Mind In A Distracted World’, where a life of distractions, anxieties and irritations is modified by the practice of ‘Open Meditation’, that is meditation without a purpose, often in a noisy, smelly public place as opposed to a quiet retreat, so that the waves of distraction and annoyance can be seen and then experienced as ‘just another wave in the ocean’, I was reminded of a sudden insight from decades ago as I made my way through esoteric teachings, both traditional and contemporary and the mystical practices they engendered, to find the real me hiding inside the various selves built by ego, education, family and culture.

     I was working away on the Observer Consciousness practice, watching ‘Gordon’ as he navigated his way through the pleasures and challenges of every day and seeing his personas, defence mechanisms and game playing, all carefully constructed through the years.  Once the charms of self-deception had been cast aside, I could see what a steep learning curve it was but one that I could master.  That light at the end of the tunnel kept me focused and I assumed a greater measure of soul presence would be the reward.

     This would be sometime in my mid-to-late twenties, when many of the customary passions and anxieties of youth were still in full force.  Whether it was one magical occurrence or several installments, I came to see that the extremeself-consciousness of childhood and youth, making timidity and embarrassment a daily occurrence, was in fact, the embryo of observer consciousness, just waiting to be nurtured.  The realisation was, in its way, stunning.  Could it really be that simple?  Slowly contemplating it over the next few weeks seemed to confirm the initial flash.

     This amidst all the sparks of shocking insight deriving from my earlier plunge into psychedelics where the infamous ‘flashbacks’ some claimed to suffer from, I had found quite amusing.  Like, (a) seeing the skull beneath the skin, (b) knowing that everything was in some way alive, including what we call inanimate, (c) seeing all the socially constructed personas of friends and strangers alike as they reacted and responded to every stimulation, (d) knowing telepathy was as real as the spoken word, (e) that the planet was some kind of playground where we played at being physical. 

    Some folk in my generation were a bit sloppy with their self-medication and become overwhelmed with such insights into our bubble of illusion, sad casualties who could not cope. Well, I just added it to the list while being careful with whom I shared the insights.  That carnival of sense impressions was just that: a carnival ride.  You stepped on, had a dizzying ride, and stepped off.  The observer consciousness told you that the real you was always there, taking it all in, perhaps storing it for future usage.