I was reading “One Day My Soul Opened Up”, by Iyanla Vanzant and… I read “There is a Divine Order to everything in life. It is for this reason that exactly where you are at any given time in life is exactly where you should be according to the divine unfolding of your consciousness and life.” Where I am is exactly where I am supposed to be – and then CLICK, there was an audible click and suddenly my vibration was higher and I was in the flow of life. Amazing.
I ‘knew’ everything was always okay, no matter what it was. Nothing could not be okay, as nothing was not part of the Divine Plan. I could sense a river, a current flowing underneath at all times, as I ‘floated’ on top peacefully going through my daily life, filled with love and confidence. Still experiencing annoyances, etc., the ups and downs of the human experience, but more as an observer, with space between the annoying circumstance, and me. Words are hard to find to fully fit the experience.
This feeling, being truly in the flow of life, lasted for 4 or 5 years, until I got married and became a mom. The flow stage was expansive, and as I became more tethered to the relationship with my soon to be husband, I felt myself slightly contracting that expanse. And then we had our first child and I became truly tethered to the idea of being responsible for this new life, protecting and keeping it safe, so then I contracted further. I actually remember sitting in the basement office of our home (different home than when the mystical experience took place) and consciously withdrawing, pulling in, contracting that expanse. Regretfully.
Now I can read the words written above and logically know that where I am is exactly where I am supposed to be and that, likely, this is happening for a reason and hopefully expanse will come again, but I cannot seem to get back into the flow of that river of life. I feel I am on a constant journey to get there again. Am listening to Michael Pollan’s How to Change Your Mind. Maybe a mushroom trip is in my future 🙂
I’ve googled and I’ve never heard of anyone having an experience like this, but I also had never searched the term – mystical experience – so maybe now I will find others, and my way back into the flow.