So here is what has worked for me
The first thing you need to do is some reality checking. You will need to do at least 2 reality checks per day. It doesn’t really matter when you do them, whenever you have a bit of time, but ideally they should be at separate times. You can program your phone to remind you. Doing a reality check is much like a short meditation.
First you ask yourself, am I dreaming? Then you check it by pinching your nose, and trying to breath. If you can’t breath it means you are in waking reality. If you can breath that means you are in a dream, yay. Pinching your dream nose will not obstruct your breathing. Don’t assume that you know if you are dreaming until you have tested it, it’s easy to come to a wrong conclusion when you dream.
If you are like me then on some days even that will be too hard, so on those days there is a simpler exercise:
Just ask yourself, am I dreaming? Then think about it for a few seconds and then look at your hands and shortly examine them. That’s all! You don’t need to find irregularities or do anything else. If you do this regularly, when you can’t do the full reality test, your subconscious will push your hands into your view during a dream to remind you that you are dreaming. It will trigger a recognition in your dream that you may be dreaming. When this happen you do the nose pinch test, and you are ready to go. It takes about 15 seconds, it sounds like it won’t work, but it will. It’s better to do this, than to do nothing. You can combine these or do 1 of each one. The important thing is that you do at least one of these each day. Even the most lazy person can do that right? Maybe not lol.
Sometimes even though you realize you are in a lucid dream, it’s just too hazy, and not vivid at all and starts to fall apart. One thing you can do is to quickly look at your hands and rub them together. Rubbing them together will make your dream come into focus. It will also prolong it when it starts falling apart. Another technique that can bring your dream into focus is breathing. If the dream is not realistic enough, you breath in deeply, usually it helps.
The next thing you need to do is when you wake up is to try not to move for 30 seconds after waking up and during this time try to remember what you dreamed. You want to avoid moving immediately after waking up, because the movement will cause you to loose dream memories.
Then reach for the notebook and write down 2 things first if you succeeded in not moving your body immediately after waking up. If you fail, write down how much time has passed after your first movement, until you realized that you shouldn’t have moved. Second, if you remember any dreams shortly go over it in your mind and write down a few keywords from the dream. 2-5 keywords should be enough. If you don’t remember any dreams, write down this sentence: “I’m open to the possibility that I may remember my dreams during the day”. Also, put a date on the entry.
That is all! This will take about 5 minutes of your time. If you tend to remember your dream later in the day, despite not remembering it in the morning, then shortly go over the dream in your mind once, and then say out loud a few keywords from the dream. This way you don’t have to spend time writing it down but it will still develop dream memory sufficiently. If you remember the dream during the day doing this will take an additional 2-3 minutes.
Another method; before you go to sleep, ask your spirit guides to help you remember your dreams and assist you in being more aware/conscious while dreaming.
It takes 30 seconds, and if you do it regularly it will work. They will be happy to help. Addressing them directly is a powerful thing to do.
Your first aim with these methods is to have lucid dreams. With these methods you won’t be able to control when they happen, but they will happen. You will start having them just from doing the above techniques. The more you have, the better you get. Try some dream experiments. You will accidentally discover the hacks that work for you. Optimize them for yourself. Repeat what works, discard what’s not.
Even having just a few lucid dreams each month will take you far, over a longer period of time. You may have a 100 lucid dreams per year, that’s a lot of opportunity to practice your skills.
The next technique is really powerful. It is called the violet flame. I first heard about the violet flame of transmutation, in a book by Shakuntala Modi: Memories of God and Creation.
I got a very strong intuitive nudge to try it. I usually just read something and then do nothing with it but in this case the nudge was so strong that I actually tried this. I did 5-10 minutes of violet flame each evening. After doing this technique for about a month, unbelievable things started to happen. I started experiencing psychic phenomena. I never experienced anything like that before. The first thing I noticed is that my dreams were getting very vivid and luminous. Also, after the practice I occasionally started to see a violet aura around my hands. Once I saw a flash of blinding light for a second and then my clairvoyance opened up for a short while. I saw golden lights pouring down upon me. I saw a shadowy spirit entering my room from the window that was scary. I started to have glimpses into what I do, or some other part of me doing, during the nights while I sleep. On an occasion when I came into awareness while sleeping, I was flying over a forest, however, this forest was not an earth forest, the colors and shapes were different. I was traveling in some sort of vehicle. The vehicle had no defined contour lines it was just swirling and oscillating piles of energy about 2-3 feet from me. It was oscillating in different directions. It was as real as waking reality. Later I asked Vickie about it, and learned this vehicle is the Merkaba.
Above is a drawing of the vehicle
After I was told about the Merkaba, I found the image above
Can you see the resemblance? I would have never known that I have a Merkaba if it weren’t for the violet flame practice. Also, my higher self started revealing things to me. For a short time I had a direct line to it.
To make a long story short, here is how you perform this method
Below are a few videos with a bit explanation
There are dozens of ways to perform this, this is just one way, you can do a bit of research on this. The violet flame is intelligent it knows what to do, but if you wish you can direct it to a specific purpose.
The next step is to turn a lucid dream into an astral projection. For me these are distinct experiences. Different people have different perspectives, definitions and names on these things.
Once you have practiced the violet flame for a while, and raised your vibe rate sufficiently, you can aim for an astral projection. There is a simple technique you can try. By this time you are already having lucid dreams. When you are having the next lucid dream try this; walk through a door with the intention of going into an astral realm. Say it. That is all. Once you had enough lucid dreams, you can bypass all the meditations, relaxations, vibrations, the common laborious induction methods. You just go through a doorway with the intention of entering another realm from a lucid dream. It has worked for me, from a normal dream I entered a very beautiful luminous place with small houses. I saw a rejuvenating fountain that could completely refresh and rejuvenate your energy and a spa with beautiful looking people. It was unlike any dream before it, very vivid and realistic, with sensations not experienced in earthly life, the entire place was luminous, with a sense of joy… And it was easy. I didn’t have to do any additional techniques, I simply capitalized on the occasionally occurring lucid dream.
When you stop doing the exercises, your partner will see that you have stopped checking the checkboxes and can intervene by asking in email, or phone, what’s the deal, why you have stopped doing it? Is it too hard to do the 15-20 minutes per day bro?, and can call you out! Maybe he can provide some useful perspectives and suggestions. That way, when you stop doing it, at least you have to face someone and tell him/her if you have a good reason to stop. It’s too easy to quit when no one sees you. By applying this method, your chances will skyrocket.
If you have tried and failed with lucid dreaming or OBE practice, you can ask questions in the comment section, very likely there is a way to solve the particular issues you have faced.
Only by trying can you develop. Even if what you do is minimal, a few minutes per day, over time it will add up, and will help you get remarkable experiences. Right now you have a choice. You can commit to a practice you want, whatever you believe in, with a minimal time investment, and start doing it. Or you can postpone it for a later time.
If you postpone it, let me ask you this; at a future time what would be different from now that will cause you to do start doing your practice then If you just do your practice for 10 days, the initial stress and unfamiliarity will pass, and from than on it will be easy to perform it daily. You don’t have much to loose, other than enduring the initial discomfort of doing a new thing, and the 10-15 minutes of time investment per day.